Uncle Dick and Lisa's Old Time Animal Tales

My uncle William, who had learnt the whole process from Thomas, and always faithfully observed it, used to call it, in its intermediate state, an old soldier. A sailor deposits, or if there is such a word, [and if there is not, there ought not to be,] re-posits it in his tobacco-box. I have heard my brother Tom say, that this practice, occasioned a great dislike in the navy to one and two pound notes; for when the men were paid in paper, the tobacco-box served them for purse or pocket-book in lack of any thing better, and notes were rendered illegible by the deep stain of a wet quid. Thomas’ place for an old soldier between two campaigns, while he was napping and enjoying the narcotic effects of the first mastication, was the brim of his hat, from whence the squire on this occasion stole the veteran quid, and substituted in its place a dead mouse just taken from the trap. Presently the sleeper, half wakening without unclosing his eyes, and half stupified, put up his hand, and taking the mouse, with a finger and thumb, in which the discriminating sense of touch had been blunted by coarse work and unclean habits, opened his mouth to receive it, and with a slow, sleepy tongue, endeavored to accommodate it to its usual station, between the double teeth and the cheek. Happening to put it in headformost, the hind legs and tail hung out, and a minute or more spent in vain endeavors to lick those appendages in, before he perceived, in the substance, consistence, taste, something altogether unlike tobacco. Roused at the same time by a laugh which could no longer be suppressed, and discovering the trick which had been played, he started up in a furious rage, and, seizing the poker would have demolished the squire for this practical jest, if not provided a retreat by having the doors open, and taking shelter where Thomas could not, or dared not, follow.-Southey’s Life and Correspondence.