Uncle Dick and Lisa's Old Time Animal Tales

A gentleman, who domesticates at present with us, was awakened a few nights since by the gambols of a rat upon his bed. He arose and supposing he had ejected his unwelcome visitor, closed the door of his chamber and again resigned himself to the arms of his sleepy god. Nothing more was heard of his ratship, and Mr. – related the adventure to the breakfast table the next morning with much glee, soon after which, having occasion to put his hand into the pocket of his pantaloons, he grasped something a wonderful deal softer and smoother than his pocket handkerchief and drawing it forth [this is the place for every sensitive young lady to scream] he held in his hand a monstrous rat. Oh such a jumping up into the chairs and screaming as there would have been, had half a dozen misses been present, but no one except “the lady of the mansion” was present, and she, very courageously, undertook to knock the rat’s brains out with a pair of crimping irons, while the gentleman whose pocket he had so unceremoniously “broke and entered contrary to the form of the statute in such case made and provided,” held him by the tail; but unfortunately, at the first blow the attraction of cohesion-to speak very scientifically-between the skin of the tail and the tail itself, was overcome, and away went his ratship, minus, the skin of his tail. That rat, mark us, will have an aversion to pockets and crimping irons to the day of his death. [N. H. Spectator.